Lost

Today I lost a patient. Code "Blue" was called at 10.50 am from the emergency room - CODE BLUE, Emergency Department, Block B, Paediatrics!!!!! and we all rushed there. By the time I reached the emergency, they were resuscitating her. Since I had no role in the resuscitation, I went to look at the mother... and immediately recognized her. My heart sank. Questions was running through my head...I knew I discharged her a day before but did I miss something?
1 year old Norsazrianna, a Down Syndrome from Beufort Sabah with Congenitally Corrected Transposition of Great Arteries and Pulmonary Atresia. She underwent a shunt surgery a week ago and was discharged home yesterday. Her mother brought her back to IJN this morning, when she didn't stop crying for almost an hour. But by the time they arrived in emergency, Norsazrianna had stopped breathing. I scan through her record and didn't find anything amidst. Mother was almost hysterical saying Norsazrianna didn't stopped crying since 9 am. But by the time her cousin brought them to IJN, it was already too late.
My colleagues worked on our patient for half an hour more, but we soon realized she can't be brought back. Death was pronounced at 12.10 pm. I was chosen to break the news to the mother.... what a horrible task and I hate doing this. Right before my eyes, I saw the mother slipped away into her own world where Norsazrianna is still alive and well. It broke my heart.....
I sat with the mother till she left at 3.30 pm. Arranging the body to be sent back to Sabah was another task. But Norsazrianna is already in a good place. My concern is with the mother who had lost everything. I wish I could have done more.....

Picture Of Success

What is the picture of success? Big house? Imported cars... Not just one but several that line up in the garage? Fat bank accounts...saving accounts, current accounts, trust funds? Member of a golf club or any club that cost thousands as membership? A career that have a paycheck as big as a mountain?
I guess these would be them. Living a materialistic world, there is nothing wrong in wanting more to enhance your lifestyle. It is the standard that are set. It is normal to strive for a lifestyle that are more then comfortable. Because if you don't have ambition, then you might as well stop living.
But I think success comes with more then what you have. Your way of living should also reflect the stuff that you have. Lavish lifestyle should come with refined attitude. Having big house should come with the ability of being a considerate neighbour and a gracious host. Driving big expensive cars should come with the ability of knowing trash belong in a trash bin and not on highway nor the street. Having money and career also mean being charitable, donating to those less fortunate or to give opportunity for others to be successful too.
The measure of success should not stop by looking at what you have but also looking at how you are. The "being" should weight more then the "have".
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The Story Of Us

Just came back from dinner in Raintree, guests of Adlin & Mel who just got inducted into the prestigious club. It was a black-tie affair so I put a bit of effort in dressing up. Turned out it was not that hard. Anyway, it was fun to dressed up and go for dinner once in a while. Mel was lovely as usual and the men were sharp in their suits. Dinner was delectable and we were entertained by a duo band which played my favourite genre....swings and jazz. All in all it was a lovely affair. We picked Aiman up afterwards and after dropping Ted off for a meeting, Aiman & I went back to Setapak. Aiman was animated in the car, and he lifted my mood a bit.

Now I am sitting in the apartment, blogging while HBO is showing the movie The Story Of Us starring Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer. I love this movie. Directed by Rob Reiner and it tells the story of a couple who had been married for over 15 years. It is told from both perspectives and how their relationship had evolved. Parts that I like most are the ritual they created to start a conversation...to talked about the Highs and the Lows of their days. What a genius idea to start a conversation going. It gave each one of them to be the talker as well as a listener.

The trailer

Of course the movie is about the ups and downs of a marriage and how at a breaking point, it was saved. But then again it is a feel good movie and it has to have a happy ending. But it gave me such a great feeling knowing that any marriage would have its up and downs. It all boils down of how much you want it to work. If you are willing to go back to the basic of it all, and why you married that man in the first place, reminding yourself of all the great qualities and the reason why you married him in the first place, any marriage could be save.
 
Stop and listen....talk about your grievances.... tolerate the flaws...accept the shortcomings....and most of all respect the person next to you as a partner..... part of the recipe of a long lasting marriage. Maybe there are more but my marriage is only 15 months old and I know there are a lot more coming. I am here for the long run & I wish to be reminded of the good things when I don't  feel appreciated...or as if I am taken for granted ....or when I think I was not heard nor love enough. This is the reason for this blog. The story of us is yet to be written but it is a work in progress. This blog is just a reminder of how I should be feeling when I feel the "lows" more then the "highs".

Saying Goodbye

It is 6 am, and we are sitting in a mamak shop having an early breakfast. Actually more like supper as we have not slept yet. In fact, we came back from seeing Pak M.Rajoli... Paid our last respect to him and in a way saying goodby
I have never met him in person. But Ted had worked with him multiple times and had the highest respect for him. Yet again, I am attending a funeral of a great person that I only heard of in stories.


Ted's most fond memory of him was the time they spend making Man Laksa in Perak.

They spend almost a month filming there and Pak Rajoli has always been a good sport through out the shooting. With his religious background, it was quite refreshing to see him being comical and jovial all the time. He was even seen as a bit of a rebel as he owned a Harley, and always took a ride on it in full gear with leather jacket and glove. But despite all these worldly hobby, he never loose his religious roots. He was even seen reciting the Surah with some of the crew who wanted to learn them. Pak Rajoli epitomized the calling of Islam...to be in creation of love in this world, as well as the next. May Allah bless his soul and may he finds his true place with Him. Al Fatihah.

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Our Passion

Our labour of love is slowly taking form. Today, Ted finally cleaned up the living room of our apartment and we were able to set it up. Actually it is still not finish but at least it is clean now. There are still the stage and lightings, but that will have to wait. Before this, Ted's tools and constructions material were scattered all over the living room. It took a lot of patience and time to reorganized them. I am glad that Ted noticed how patient I was. I don't like chaos, especially where I live. But for a while, I told myself that this is important. he needed the time to put them all together, just the way he wanted them to be. Finally all that was done, I am so relieved.

 However, that will be blog later, when it is all done. What I am so excited to blog today are about our passions. Ted for music and specifically guitars.... and mine for photography. What a beautiful combination these 2 passions created. Guitar is such a beautiful instrument. It look amazing in photos. With the perfect angles, lighting and exposure....Ted's collections of guitars just look amazing. He used to have a total of 27 guitars but over the years, the numbers decline. Some were sold away, some were lost. But I guess if you have passions for it, you could never loose it all. He started collecting them again.

Today, he mounted some of them on the wall of our apartment. Who needs photo frames and paintings if you can have guitars mounted? And they make beautiful pictures for my photos collections.....and probably scrapbooks later.....

My Malaysia

Banish racism from your mind and heart
Practice high tolerance with your fellow man
Seek not the differences but accept the uniqueness
So that we can be one nation of true Malaysian
HAPPY 47th MALAYSIA.....

 

Malaysians are like a box of chocolate.... we may have different shapes, sizes and fillings but essentially we are similar and come from the same ingredients. In this box we called Malaysia, we can create love and prosperity in togetherness and sharing. Celebrate our unique qualities. 

To all my fellow Malaysians.... go forth and spread love by being united.

Aim For The Stars

Aidil Fitri has reached 7th day. So far, I have only visited 2 homes, excluding our parents' home ... Both time, the visits had been extended till the wee hour of the morning. And in both occasions, I witnessed not only the bond of friendship becoming closer but also big ideas discussed.
Every success story started of from ideas. I was made to see in these 2 occasions, I am surrounded by brilliant friends with big, innovative ideas... I have a feeling that I will witness a couple of success story in the future. I am tingling with excitement...




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Popeye Is More Then Spinach

We went to Wangsa Walk for dinner tonight, looking for a nasi ayam place. Ended up in Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen. Aiman's choice. I was a bit sceptical, thought it is going to be one of those fast food restaurant. But I was wrong. The place is cozy but bright with separated areas of dining with different styles.

 Even though the servings were in paper plates and spoon, the food was delicious. Selections was limited to chicken, fish and shrimp but that was enough. Mash potatoes had a tinge of spicy black sauce and the Coleslaw was fresh. The Chicken Fingers were tender and the Fish Finger was delectable. Ibu would have liked it. We will definitely come back.

Oh did I forget to mention the choices of dessert....Tiramisu was one of them, my choice for tonight!

Aidil Fitri 2010

The Raya weekend is winding down...it is Monday 13th Sept 2010. KL is still empty even though officially the holiday has ended. We arrived in KL from Ipoh at 8 am on a Monday morning and the Bulatan Pahang was cleared of traffic jam. It was unusual. I guess holiday mode is still on.
This Hari Raya celebration was as expected....filled with friends, family,and love. Ted & I did the modern version of it. On the eve of Raya, I went back to Seremban while he stayed back in Keramat. Each helping out each others moms to prepare for Raya. However, I drove back to KL in the night so that we could have the traditional family togetherness.
I got to experienced for the first time the chaotic condition of Chow Kit the eve of Raya. My first and last.

Some excitement after that was trying to catch the Boa that somehow gotten out from his aquarium.

The usual family raya was well spent with friends and family on both sides.

After 2 days with our family, Ted & I decided to take a trip up to Ipoh for Mel's open house. I am glad we made that trip. Ted and I drove leisurely and chat about everything and anything. Our quality time together.
But most of all, I am glad we made that trip because to see the look on Mel's face was priceless. It is always a thrill when you know you had created such happiness in the people you love. 

By the way....we saw God's beauty on the eve of 2nd Raya. It was perfect.....

Mission Possible

Holidays especially one like Hari Raya are best spend with family and love ones. But for most patients and their family, this is not an option. The holiday are spend in the hospital, sometimes far from home and family. It is not a choice as they are not  healthy yet to be sent home. This is the decision of the doctors, whether they can be discharge or not.
One of the joy of my job is when I get to send them home but sometimes even such decision is beyond me. Today, we managed to send 3 of them home and canceled one. Tomorrow is another day and my mission is to sent as many out of the hospital as possible. Hospital is not place to be during the holidays.... if I have my way.