Friday, April 30, 2010

Aiman's 10

Aiman turned 10 this 16th April. Ted had a long talk with him, explaining why a celebration or a party is not necessary. Ted make sure Aiman is raised in an environment where worldly goods does not take precedence over his life. He is raised to appreciate gestures and actions. To see people through their results. What would a birthday celebration do for him or others around him? So there were no party, no wrapped presents, no cake.

I pester Ted to let me buy him a cake few times but my request were ignored in more ways then one. But I finally got my wish when a cake was given to me when we were in PD. I know it was not bought for Aiman but it has Aiman's name all over it. Aiman loved the cream and the cookies on top.

We had a small cake cutting celebration a day after his real birthday.... in a way, Ted got his wish too. Despite the talk, Aiman is still a boy.... he still got some presents from his uncle and grandparents. Ted got him a magic book, but this seemed to be more for the father then for the celebrated boy. I hope it will get Aiman to enjoy reading.

Happy birthday my dear Aiman....may you grow up to be a person in contribution, proud and happy....just as you are today.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

A Short Break

Ted & I have been married for 10 months now but somehow we feel as if we have been married for 10 years. I seriously can't remember my life without him. We are so comfortable with each other and uncannily intuitive of each others thoughts....that it is almost scary. There were few instances where I am thinking of something....few minutes later, he will said something with regards to what I was thinking.
Anyway, what I was about to say is that, after 10 months being married, we never had our honeymoon. We just got too busy and there were always other plans with family.

So last weekend, after a number of reminders by my darling husband to book a weekend getaway, we set off to Port Dickson. I had a voucher of free night stay in Avillion, & I heard so much of great things about it. We decided to upgrade the room to the Sea-View Chalet because of the breathtaking view and the open-roof bathroom.

The hotel was very cozy. Big trees everywhere....they even had a petting zoo and peacocks were running around loose. Ted had so much fun at the zoo. It was food for the animal lover soul in him.

They separated the adult and children pools which I thought was brilliant. They ensure safety as children are not allowed in the deeper pool....

We had a nice memorable breathtaking 2 days Port Dickson which was only about an hour drive from Kuala Lumpur. It goes to show that when it comes to having a holiday, whats important is the company... not the destination nor the cost.

Digging Up Nothing - A Whiter Shade Of Pale Story

When Ted & I were dating last year, we discovered each other in more ways then one. One particular thing that brought us together was music. Even though I never really know how to play any musical instrument, I have passion for them...especially ones with meaningful lyrics. Ted is an amazing musician, full of soul & a true rocker.Our dates would inadvertently involved some form of discussion on music and songs....and most of the time Ted strumming his guitar, singing to some of my beloved songs.

I remembered one particular discussion was on Procol Harum's A Whiter Shade Of Pale. I told Ted that it is one of my favourite song of all time but I never really understood the meaning in the lyrics.... but thought that it is a song of regrets, about lost love and wanting more. He at first started playing the song then told me that someone had told him that the song was written by a drunkard. Of course I strongly disagreed.... he just de-romanticized one of my romantic song and I couldn't let that happen. At that moment I refused to believed it... So we decided to google and wikipedia the song.

What we discovered was really amazing. First the facts....It was first released in 1967 by a British band Procol Harum. The haunting musical background used part of Bach's "Sleepers,Wake!" and "Air on G String" and the confusing lyrics was written by Keith Reid. Reid mentioned that the song came from the title itself "whiter shade of pale"... a phrased he heard at a party. He then started writing the lyrics around that phrase. What we discovered was, Reid used a lot of references about mythical Miller's Tales, which in fact has none whatsoever meaning in the song.

After much googgling and reading, we found out an article written by some music professor.... who actually wrote a whole thesis about the lyrics. He believed without a doubt that the lyrics was written by Reid when he was in a state if drunkenness & stupor & high on drugs, given the fact that Reid himself is a known Hippies and that " the flower power" was huge at that time. Reid picked up ideas that just came out to him from his reading about the Miller's tale and the Sixteen Vestal Virgins....and just connect the dots according to the song. The second verse when he described " the room was humming harder and the ceiling just flew away".... lyrically described a state of drunkenness. To say the least, Ted & I had a good laugh after that. We learned that some songs are just nice because they are just that....Nice. Sometimes it is better to enjoy a song just because it is pleasant to your ears.

One thing we learned.... if you decide to dig into matters that are deeper then what it really seemed to be, be prepared to find nothing.

Check this out & just enjoy then .... The Song

Monday, April 19, 2010

Leaving Things Better Of

During my LP Journey, one of the things that I learned that still stuck to me was to leave things or situations in a condition the same as when you found it, if not better. Simple example is when you use a toilet....just make sure to flush.... or clean up your table after you eat.
What I remembered in my times in the States was that after we ate in McDonald or Burger Kings, most people would clean up their own table after meal and throw their trash in the bin provided in the restaurant. This practice is especially useful in a situation where the restaurant are packed with people. Cleaning the place after you use it simply allows for other patronage to enjoy their meal without being disgusted. How would you feel if you have to clean up after other people when having to wait for the waiter to clean the table for you are just wasting your time or even worst when there is no available waiter to clean the table.

This situation actually happened to me last weekend. We were on our way to PD ( Which was an amazing trip & will be written in another blog).... & we decided to have lunch in the Seremban R&R. As usual, the area was packed with people having lunch. The queue to buy lunch was long and tiresome, but nothing compare to having to wait for a clear table. We got our food and have to walk around for a few minutes to find an empty table. We finally saw a middle aged couple finishing their meal... so we just kind of hovered around the table. As soon as they finished, they left without even having a second glance on how the table looks like. It was a mess. They had 3 dirty plates of whatever left of their food and the tables had water drops everywhere. Thank God for my ever-ready wipes. I can't eat on a dirty tables... so it took me a few minutes to clean up. Ted looked at me with an adoring eyes, and looked very happy that I made an effort. Felt better after that & we finally get to enjoy our lunch. When we finished, I cleaned up the table again, as I don't want the next people using that table to have to clean up after me. It turned out there was another couple passing by and saw us leaving. She actually smiled and thank me for cleaning the table...she looked gratefully at me and said it was very nice of me to do so and how she herself always carried those wipes. I hoped she will use them to clean the table after her meal. It will made me feel that somehow I had made a difference and her imaginary action of cleaning up had been a pay forward of what I had done. I actually felt good.... it doesn't take any effort to clean after yourself and in fact, you made other people happy at the same time.

On our way out, a thought came over me. What if everybody that use a public eating place decided to clean up after themselves, wouldn't this world be a cleaner place. It does not take a lot of effort. In fact, if you practice it often enough, it could become a habit. I do try to teach this to my nieces and nephews. Whenever we go to McD, I always make sure that we left the table cleaned. I hope this habits will take on them.... as I hope this habit will take on anybody reading this. If we leave things better of, this world would definitely be a better place. Don't you think so?

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Ibu's 63rd

15th April 2010..... Ibu turned 63.
It falls on a "malam Jumaat" & she decided the best way to celebrate it is by having a "doa selamat" and treat the surau's people. She told me this few weeks ago & I decided to take leave for it... just because.....
Ted & I arrived early afternoon. Had a big feast of Negeri's food in the Seremban R&R before arriving home. Had a chat with Ibu & Ayah then started on my fruit salad, at Ibu's request. She loves my fruit salad & I am more then happy to make it for her. Helped her out a bit preparing the drinks then made the garlic toast for the beef stew I cooked up earlier the night before.
After the prayer, the feast began and everybody seemed to be pleased with Ibu's choice of nasi lemak & sambal sotong. The food itself was quite simple but made to perfection.... just like Ibu. She had been working hard cleaning the surau for this night. Ibu has always been like this....things have to be perfect, just the way she sees it, regardless of how tired and sick she is. I always had problems with this as I hate being boss around to do chores. But as the years passed and after the training in Asiaworks, I realised where she is coming from. She did all that out of love and there is nothing wrong in that.
We had a good chat with Uncle Ghaffar afterwards.... made me miss Mamah.Woke up pretty late the next day but we enjoyed a late breakfast with Ibu & Ayah. Ibu was very chatty with Ted which made me love him even more... he knows how to be with Ibu in the most purest form. Ibu is not the type that can have conversation, especially with someone new, but with Ted, she seemed comfortable. I helped Ibu clean up the kitchen and everything seemed good before we left.
As we drove back to KL, Ted mention how unwell Ibu looks. I can see it too. She had an IJN appointment a day before and I know the real situation. Ibu's palpitation is not getting better and she is feeling the effect. My heart made a silent prayer that what I know will not be true but as a doctor, I know better. I just hope that she will have a few more great years so that we can have a few more great days like today.....just a few more if not a lot.
Just like her orchids, Ibu is beautiful in the most unassuming unique ways. They never become the center piece but not just add colours to the bouquet but bring all the flowers together harmoniously like a glue...just like Ibu in our lives. Their beauty last longer then most flower and some are even difficult to bloom. But once they do....they do bring the sort of happiness in a quiet way for a long long time.... just like Ibu.

Friday, April 09, 2010

Flight or Fight

Today I practice one of the few things I learned from my lovable Teddy. He told me that sometimes when face with people that irritates him, he would just turn around and walk away. They are not worth the anxiety to fight with.

So today,at work while receiving a new patient from Serdang Hospital, I asked the accompanying doctor the patient's history, which is a standard procedure when admitting a new patient. The doctor in an irritating tone suddenly asked me how come I didn't know the patient I am receiving as the patient had been referred earlier and started explaining that she only accompany the patient. The nerve of the stupid woman! It is a must for a doctor to actually know the patient's history when transferring him/her, so I was just practicing the standard procedure. I myself had transferred thousand of patients and made sure I at least know the history.

In my mind, I thought I could argue and lecture this stupid woman about being a caring responsible doctor or I could do what Ted would do. I decided to do the latter. I stared at her for the longest time, to maintain my composure. I then turned and walked away towards the counter to get the folder. Read the letter to established the necessary information. I then walked back to the anxious parents and in my friendly calm professional tone, spoke to the them and explained what we are planning for their child. I then proceed to examine my new patient, totally and visibly ignoring the idiot doctor. I threw a few question about the patient and only respond to the accompanying nurse, making sure that I ignore the doctor again. At the end, I walked away without even looking at the bitch. The way I see it, if she decided to be invisible to her patient, I might as well treat her with similar courtesy.

As they left the ward, the idiot decided to thank me. You can guess what I did.... I just ignored her and pretended I didn't hear her. Somehow I felt better doing that. Ted had the right idea when confronted with idiots..... they are not worth the time nor the energy. It is much better to walk away. When you choose to fight, it is better to pick one that matters. In this case, the so-called doctor does not matter.

I never thought I could use these 2 words in the same sentence.... but that is why they have such term as OXYMORON....I just coined a new oxymoron.... STUPID DOCTOR!!!!!!!

Thursday, April 08, 2010

My Biggest Wish

If I had a wish that can come true, it would be a world just as what Lennon would imagine...

Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try
No people below us, above it's only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do
No need to kill or die for and no religions too

Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will live as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can

No need for greed or hunger a brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people

Sharing for the world

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one
Take my hand and join us
And the world will live, will live as one


Wednesday, April 07, 2010


Once in a while, TV come out with an amazing show that not just entertain but brought out serious subject with subtlety that only entertainers could. Glee is one such show.

When it first come out, I thought it was quite refreshing to have a sort of a musical on TV. I always love broadways because singing and dancing are the truest forms of entertainment. But then TV sort of stray from such show and seemed to focus more on drama and reality show. Audiences are more drawn to drama then anything else. When I first heard about it... I thought oh well, another teenage-bopper series about high schools students just like Beverly Hills 90210, The Hills, Melrose Place....or shows of such subjects.

But Glee turned out to be more then story about teenager's angst. It deals with serious subject matters using musics and songs as the medium to delivers them. Set in an American high school, it focuses on the Glee club of that school. It is sort of like performing art club. They seem to always have the geeks or the looser as members.

Week after week, they came out with the most amazing cover version of famous songs of my time and in between deals with serious matters like acceptance in society, popularity, teen pregnancy, finding love....growing up. Last week they did a take on John Lennon's Imagine that blew me away. They had a group of deaf students singing in a sign language which made me listen to the lyrics intently. It is one of the best song ever written... and Glee did it justice and more.

Today they tackle the subject of deceptions and the prices you have to pay. It is the worst of vices... lying especially to your love ones even with the best reasons are just wrong. Once you are discovered, nothing good will come out from it. You just hurt them more. So thanks to Glee.... I realized lying is not the solution for anything. When the truth comes out, and they inevitably will, you will have to pay the price.

The Essence of Substance

Everything has its value... but to what degree is the question I am asking myself tonight.

A few months ago I was watching Miami Ink and a mother wanted to get a tattoo of a ring her son gave her a few years back when he was 6 years old. Looking at the ring... it is simple & probably inexpensive. The son found it somewhere & gave it to her. But it is priceless as it was a gift from her son. Her son is now in the teens, and the ring has faded and has a missing stone. She wanted a tattoo of it so that she can have it on her forever, just like when she first got it.

Similar incident happened to me last month that touched me. My son went back to Alor Setar with his Dad and grandparents. He found a hand phone beaded ornament and ask Ted to give it to me. It looks inexpensive but it is priceless to me. I attached it to my purse so that I always have it at work. Just a reminder on how love can be shown with an act of random and chance. That ornament somehow has an essence of value just because Aiman made it so.... for me.

So how can something cheap, be priceless or valuable? The essence of any substance comes from the beholder. You made it priceless. If you cherish something, even if it doesn't cost anything, it becomes valuable. I can live in a hut and made it a castle, I can drive a Matrix and imagine that it feels like a Volkswagen. It may not be anything to the person next to me....but if I am grateful for them and hold them dear.... they are the best.... for me. The question is how do I want it to be? It is all up to me isn't it? I put the values in everything and it is my power to set the standard.

Take what you need
Need only what you have
And be grateful for what you have

So from today onwards, I need to really believe in my own standards and not by what others set for themselves. Other people will have their own sets of values and mine with my own. In this materialistic world... this may be difficult. I may look at others and feel that I don't have enough or I don't have the best. It is not a question of stopping myself from comparing but a question of believing in my own set of values and not feel inferior or inadequate about it. Every substance has its own essence.... and it is so because you think it so.

But I still would love to have a Volkswagen some day.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Aida's 37th

Aida's birthday was celebrated with our family in the quietest way but meaningful nevertheless. I arrived early 28th morning after my KKB reunion. Drove alone as Ted & Aiman were in Alor Setar. I arrived at 4 am and everybody was asleep, so I left her present in the living room.

I was woken up at 8.30 am by Aida who had opened her present. She was crying & hugging me. In one hand was my present, a dolphin from Gold Coast and in the other hand was her present. Guess she was so excited about it. Who wouldn't be.... for her birthday this year I decided to make her a scrapbook. Photos collected over the years had to be made into something more personal.... so I thought why not compiled them into a book. It turned out to be one of the most brightest idea.

We had Laksa Johore for lunch. The birthday girl cook. She even had a grooming session for Asyif after that.

Since Hazrik didn't like laksa, I brought him and the 2 princesses to McD. despite having to queue for almost an hour, I enjoyed spending time with the children. I am after all the coolest auntie ever.

We brought back a cake for Aida and as usual the children loved blowing the candle and singing more then the cake itself. We all left for KL that night in succession.... I left the last. It was good weekend with the family even though Ted & Aiman were not there. Maybe next year then....

The Patience of Scrapbooking

I discover a new hobby that is engaging, fun, liberating, useful and meaningful....Scrap-booking.
Over the years, ever since Ayah gave me his old camera (not digital), I have a passion for taking candid photos of the people around me. Like most people, I would keep them in albums or in frames. Sometimes I would be a bit creative and put some captions over them.
Last month I came across a book on the art of making a scrap-book. It gave me an idea of what I should do with all those photos. Since Aida's birthday was coming up.... I compiled some of her photos, mostly candid and made it into these beautiful meaningful book.... I even amaze myself with my patience and passion for it. Needless to say she loved it.

Like they always say....when looking for gifts for your love ones, always get them something that you would like yourself. I LOVE SCRAP-BOOKS!!!!

Friday, April 02, 2010

Say a Little Prayer

31st March 2010 is a day that will live in infamy... at least for me.

It was one of the worst day at work. It started of bad when I was left all alone to be in charge of a full ward of 30 patients (not counting the parents and their grandparents!) Out of the 5 doctors that is supposed to be there... I was the only one left to man it. Nurses were pretty short in numbers to. To make matter worst, 3 out of 6 nurses were juniors. The only savior was that the seniors were the good ones.... Ila, Farra & Sister Anida. Thank God for our clerk Ayu ... she helped out wherever she can.

The morning rounds with my Consultants were not so bad. We managed to get all the days work planned out nicely. The rounds were smooth and clear. By near the sun reach its peak and the temperature outside rise.... the ward inside heated up too. All of us literally perspire despite the ward being air-conditioned. What I meant by heated up was that, we started getting influx of transferred patient from our ICU in an insane amount of numbers. Our HDU only have 5 beds, but ICU decided to transfer 8 patients. So my efficient nurses started moving beds and patients in a pace that would make a F1 driver proud. Melor ward looks like one of those war zone movie scene where the beds were in the middle aisle of every free lane in the ward. We had to make room for the ICU patients so that ICU can make space for the other patients that are going for surgery that day. If we don't make the space, then surgery would be cancel and a lot of people would be unhappy. My role?... to choose which patients stable enough to be transfer to the least monitored beds. I am responsible in compromising certain care to certain patients. A ridiculous role. I had to make an extra effort in checking up on them now and then to make sure they are ok. I was on my feet the whole day. Obviously my feet hurt.

By the end of the long day, we managed to make the best of this horrible situation. Most patients were where they can best be cared for. We even managed to admit new patients. They were good and safe but the ward was in shambles with notes everywhere. It was difficult to find anything but then thank God for Ayu who made it easier. I am also grateful for the nurses. They did their best and it proved to me that I can count on them for any chaotic situations.

When I left at 8.30 pm, I prayed for my patients to be safe..... but the next day I found out there were 2 unfortunate events that night. One had to be transferred back to ICU and the other one missed a crucial X ray. Thank God it was just a minor incidents and there were no fatalities.I guess my prayer were answered partially.

Lesson of that day..... despite all your best effort in any given bad situation, it doesn't hurt to pray. So say a little prayer now and then because God do listen.