Counting My Infinite Blessings

My 38th is just around the corner. Do I feel older? Sometimes I do...sometimes I feel younger... depends on my state of mind.

At the moment... I keep on looking back at some of the decisions I made when I am at crossroads. Some that I am proud of & some not. I feel a lot older when my mind wonders to my past. I used to think that for the last 38 years, my life is so full of dramas that it could be made into a movie... several movies in fact.I hated it when I can't keep my darker past away from my present.

Lately my mind wonders to the things I always wanted to do but never got around to doing them:
1. I have always wanted to go to Thailand or backpacking to India.
2. Bungee jumping off a bridge somewhere.
3. Be at my ideal weight 55 kg.
4. Play the piano
5. Scuba diving
6. Learn to roller blade
7. Ride bicycle to work
8. Recycle more...be more of an environmentalist.
9. Work with UNICEF or any of those NGO that champions children's welfare. Do more community service.
10 Spend more time with Ibu.
11. Being pregnant. To experienced 9 months of having a person growing inside of me ... to understand the pain and also feel the blessing of being a mother.

The list goes on & on...but this is just too depressing. I hate thinking of them and somehow feel that they will never happen.



But then again I do think about the cool stuff that I have done and experienced.... made me feel young and optimistic:
1. Being a doctor the last 12 years... having to save lives and being in contribution on a daily basis.
2. I am a loving and giving Ummi to my nephews & nieces... an still being blessed to be able to do this still.
3. Studying in India and get to experienced the culture and the rich life there for 7 years. And to take the last trip back to Malaysia in first class flight.
4. Falling in and out of love with great wonderful loving men... which only made me a lovable woman everytime.
5. Being able to experienced different places in this world.... The USA when I was 10 yrs old, Wolverhampton where Aida studied, Manila, Tokyo, Hawaii , India, Ireland ( Kirremuir), Paris, Amsterdam, London, Bali. I went to Disneyland, Universal Studio, camping in Yosemite Park, travelling in the tube of London!.... These were amazing places.
6. Snorkelling in Perhentian Island and shopping in Cameron Highland with my best friend.

7. Post college Holiday in Langkawi with friends.
8. Drove a Porsche on the highway.
9. Saw concerts of Linkin'Park, Gwen Stefani.... live performances of Aqasha & the Remedy!

10. Dining on top of the Eiffel Tower... boat trip across the Seine
11. Enjoying sunset in Kudremukh, India.... riding back on bikes when it was raining.
12. Being able to celebrate my birthday year after year with friends and family... the people I love and those who love me.
13.Found the love of my life and found out he loves me too,married him, letting me love Aiman like my own .... knowing that I will still be in love with him everyday for the rest of my life, even though I know there will be days where he will irritate the hell out of me.
How do I know that he is the one...my Knight in shining armour... my hero... my man? Because I can overlook his flaws and still be here, not wanting to be anywhere else.... and he can overlook my flaws and still loves me in the morning.

I am still counting my infinite blessings.... knowing more to come in the coming years.